never ready to leave.

so if you know me at all, then you know that i wish i was everywhere. all the time. when i am where i am, i dont want to leave. but i want to be where i was. or where i am going. at the same time.

but, that is not at all practical.

and i dont think that is fair. but it's reality.

i think the way it seems my life is going is really a blessing though. to be involved in crazy adventures finding community in many places along the way. making such sweet friends.

i had this dream when i was young. to bring all my friends and family from california, and implant them in arizona. so that all of us would be together.

i enjoy togetherness. very much. i think there is less sadness in togetherness. less sorrow. more fun. more chances to enjoy life.

but i know there is something to be learned from this. from being away from people i love.

real community is such a rarity. caring for one another so that all have need. enjoying each other's company. giving advice. going through rough spots. together. eating a meal. doing simple everyday things. together.

each community that i am a part of makes me want to be there all the time. and i wish i could. i think the biggest problem is that the only way i can always be there with them all is if my dream from when i was young could become real.

and, while i am working on positivity. i am also working on reality. but, i dont want to let go of my naivity (is that a word?). the thought i have that we will change the world. that we can make things different. that it doesnt have to be the way it is always. that i can bring about some sort of togetherness.

i know that i cant be everywhere all the time. God can. but, i cant. and i know that i cant get everyone to move to the same city. although i guess i havent tried to force them. i could work on that...

but i can be a part of community. in temecula. in riverside. in nashville. in phoenix. in ride:well. and i can become a better person because of the people i get to share life with. even if it's not all the time. i can learn what a healthy marriage based on Christ looks like. i can learn what it means to love your neighbor. what it means to walk alongside one another. what it means to dream together. what it means to suffer with one another. how to ask hard questions. how to be silly. spontaneous. how to give more than you can. how to serve always. i can learn how to change my perspective on life. on myself. on the world. i can be encouraged and encourage others.

and i can be a part of the growth that follows. as we all walk along our journey's and our stories are intertwined.

in order to enjoy where we are we cant wish we were somewhere else at the same time. we have to love where we are when we are there so that we can properly enjoy when it's over. so that things we are used to can change and we can be more ready.

more ready to leave. always come back. never forget. but keep walking. wherever it takes us. always being thankful for what God has provided for us to be a part of. however long it may last.

what a beautiful community i have. what an amazing, blessing each of you are.

it blows my mind that you are always there. and you never give up on me. it blows my mind that you always care. and that you always love. and that you always give. and that you share your life with me.